Bring it to Barb

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Dear Barb,

I have managed to create a fantastic relationship with a strong woman in my life who loves me, but I am wondering how can I keep her buff heart bonded to me? It can be a daunting task to allow her all the freedom she needs to spread her wings, while making sure that her heart belongs to me alone.

Signed,
Optimistic but Uncertain

 

Dear Uncertain,

This challenging balancing act is easier than it sounds as long as you can avoid some seriously unacceptable behavior.

Most strong women want two things: independence of decision-making and communicating emotions to form a deep, intimate connection to their partner. First let’s remember that women possess higher emotional intelligence than most men do. As a result, women are able to pick up on the subtle body language cues, tone, and verbal cues that reveal hidden emotions. This can sometimes be a curse!

Disrespect: For a strong woman, this could be anything from telling her that she throws “like a girl” to disagreeing with her opinion in a belittling, condescending or patronizing way. So, the easiest way to avoid treating her disrespectfully is to ask her how she would like to be treated. This may avoid innocently do something she views differently.

Control: Kinky at times in the bedroom, but when one partner totally dominates the balance of power, it puts a strong woman in a position of powerlessness, which she will never tolerate in a relationship. To be in a relationship with a strong woman, you have to let her be in the driver’s seat frequently – and sometimes when it’s not convenient for you.

Boundaries: If a strong woman has already told you, “no,” or, “don’t do that again” once, you’d better be sure not to break her personal boundaries again.

Criticism: Everyone can have periods of negativity and they will reject their partner’s ideas, but a strong woman will never tolerate someone who is negative about her wonderful suggestions on a continuous basis.

Be supportive: A strong woman will be looking to leave the relationship if her partner has no interest in helping her achieve her dream. A strong woman will not continue to tolerate a partner who ignores her dream. Researchers studying the psychological well-being of men and women in relationships found that supportive relationships are less psychologically distressful, while unsupportive relationships are associated with anxiety and distress and ultimately their demise.

You’ve managed to win her heart if you are certain that she loves you! That doesn’t happen by accident it takes effort. Don’t forget to keep the golden rule as your rule. Simply treat her how you would like to be treated.

 

 

 

 

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