Bring it to Barb


Dear Barb,

I am not into politics too much, but it seems that this Supreme Court judge candidate that was questioned was so credible when he spoke, yet the accuser, Dr. Ford, was as well. Is there such a thing as loss of memory so that it becomes truth to them? If alcohol is a factor during Kavanaugh’s actions, could he just not remember?

An Open Republican Citizen


Dear Open Republican Citizen,

There is something called the “Johari Window.” Think of a window sectioned off into four equal cubes. The first cube are things you KNOW about yourself and things others also know about you – such things as your tastes, hobbies etc. The second cube are things you KNOW about yourself but others don’t know about you – like your secret flaws or past skeletons etc. The third cube are things you DON’T KNOW about yourself but others do know. This could be a bad habit, a tick, slur, peculiarities, an arrogance etc. The fourth cube are things that YOU DON’T KNOW about yourself and others don’t know about you.

This simple concept makes it clear that we aren’t aware of things about ourselves, yet others may know but never express or address.

Using this Johari Window, the third cube is the one that is difficult to accept because we can’t see it in ourselves. Here is a good rule of thumb, however: “If everybody is saying the same thing and they don’t know each other, it’s probably true.”

Alcohol, as most adults know, can really change our behavior. For an inexperienced teenager, it can be disastrous and have consequences that may not be remembered later by the teen. That’s why you may hear girlfriends or a group of guys describing the previous evening events to friends who were too inebriated to remember it for themselves.

Quite possibly it comes down to the fourth cube, which many times we are reluctant to know about ourselves. Maybe we just can’t handle the truth and don’t want to know. But the second cube of the Johari Window is always a possibility.

But we are always evolving and growing in our busy lifestyle, which is healthy. Self-awareness and self-reflection are the only ways to learn about ourselves. Remaining stagnant and being reluctant to humble ourselves prevents any further growth.

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